Thursday, 11 August 2016

Confession Time: I suck at blogging

Oh...hello....
Didn't see you there....
It's been a while huh? I thought before I just jumped straight in with a review that's awfully out of date, i'd say a little something first. Ah, I've missed blogging & I feel happier already.

I have a busy life.
I know, I know! We all do. But the busy-ness in my life doesn't even feel like it's there. I plod on doing my day to day things in an incredibly boring fashion and then one day it hits me; I remember all of the things that I love doing that I haven't had time for in SO long that I almost forget how they're really the only things that are worth doing. Does that make sense?

In the last couple of months, a lot has happened.  My mum and her partner have both been sick for a long time and I try to help them as much as I possibly can. Mum's partner recently had major, I mean major, surgery and so that's taken up quite a chunk of time. I've been super busy at work as simultaneously my entire team has quit and been replaced and i've still got a bit of whiplash from it all to be honest. I'm currently sick myself, which is how i've afforded enough time to not only give you a life update but to schedule a couple of reviews too! Being sick can be worthwhile, occasionally. I've also drank around 45416 cups of tea. Approximately.

For a while at the beginning of the year, things were looking beautifully for this blog and my mental health. Review books were pouring in and I had so many that I contemplated making sculptures. I was active on twitter, I read a lot, I participated in reading challenges and readathons (well, I tried at least) but I couldn't keep up. Instead, I hid from books and the blogging world and tried frantically to forget the names of publishers because I was too embarrassed to admit that actually, I don't have time to read all of those books you gave me or that I asked for in a moment of optimistic weakness.

I was completely overwhelmed.

I've read so many blog posts on why we shouldn't feel obliged to read the ARCS sent to us and that bloggers shouldn't feel pressured etc. They're right. It makes perfect sense! Of course that doesn't mean it's easy to do though. All I can do is this:

I am trying.
I'm learning to accept that I will only read as much as I read.
As much as I love reading, blogging and interacting with everyone in that world, it's my full-time-out-of-the-house job that pays for my house, my internet and uh, my books.
It's OKAY not to read everything that I receive and it's OKAY not to receive anything at all.

It has been 4 months since a book last came through my door and over the last couple of weeks it has really gotten me down but you know what? It doesn't matter. I'm not judging my worth on whether I receive an ARC. That's not why I started this and it's not what i'm here for now. I have loved reading since I was 2 years old and i'm not going to stop now. 

SO! I've got almost 200 books in my living room that are waiting to be read and their time has come. Whether I receive review books or not, I will read. Whether I have time to post reviews or not, I will read. Reading is what's important, everything else comes after.

Happy reading, guys :)

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